Lil Johnin' It

The title of this post could be a little misleading because pulling a Lil John could really mean a few different things. It could be carrying around a ridiculous cup with more diamonds than Sierra Leone. Or it could be having so much gold in your teeth that people mistake it for gingivitis. Those topics will have to wait for another post though (my subtle way of saying I'll never touch on those topics again), because I have something better for you.

Lil Johnin' it, in this case, means to take something that could be kind of nice and innocent and making it inappropriate. To put it in terms that might make a little more sense, Lil John is the "that's what she said" to any song he's thrown into. Yeah, it's finally out in the open. If the music business were "The Office," Lil John would be Michael Scott. No one really quite knows what he's good for, and he's a little too inappropriate for his own good.

Don't believe me? Then allow me to present exhibit A - a little song called "Lovers and Friends," a 2004 ballad with Usher, Ludacris, and his crunkness, Lil John. A cover of Michael Sterling's song, it seems to be about friends turning into more. Aw, cute, right? Well, almost. Unfortunately, this is a Lil John song. Lines like "Put your hand in mine" and "I love you and that's all that matters" are transformed to things I don't feel good about posting in my blog. I'll just say that even though Lil John only manages to get what can best be called the bridge (in his own song, mind you), he tosses in as many verifiable "what'd he say? oh. ew." moments as a Judd Apatow movie.

If you need more proof, you could investigate the Lil John remix to "Cooking by the Book," but I have to warn you, it's terribly, terribly inappropriate. Terribly. You all signed the release waiving any responsibility I might hold for your Internet browsing, right?

If I actually watched "The Office," I might take the time to compare Jim to Kanye West or Dwight to Biz Markie, but I think I'll leave that up to real Office fans.