Proving You're Smart During Prayer

Don't worry, I didn't run off on you again. I've just had a busy few days, so before I get until the actual meat of the post, here are a few potatoes. I've made the move to Miami for the summer. My brother and I made the drive (including a few stops, such as the Apple Store in Indy, Nashville, and every single bathroom along the way) in about 28 hours and we spent our first day in Miami running on about 1 hours of sleep each.

Now, for the meat I promised (tofu can be substituted for an additional $1). Today at church I learned the history of Mother's Day. Makes sense considering what day it is, but I just didn't expect the information to be presented the way it was. The lady delivering the prayer performed what can only be described as a Mid-Prayer Boast. This is where you whip out an "I'm gonna teach these fools a thing or two without ever breaking the prayer" move and expect no one to be the wiser.

Here's a few tips for performing your own Mid-Prayer Boast:

1. Transitions
People aren't going to be too happy if you press the prayer pause button in the middle to drop some knowledge on them, so work it into your prayer. Good transitions include "I know some people may not know this, Lord..." and "God, I think it's important to remember that..." These verbal cues should, if used correctly, allow you to ingrain a sense of intellectual inferiority into the minds of those praying with you without them knowing why (I mean, they are intellectually inferior, after all).

2. Truth
If you're going to do this, make sure you know what you're talking about. You'll lose a lot of prayer credibility if you don't check your facts before you "pray" them. Plus, it'll pull people out of the spirit or prayer. This is especially bad if you have 20 or so prayer requests to cover (in massive detail, no less). With everyone still wondering how exactly Mother's Day was established when the Pilgrims and the Vikings sat down for a starchy meal, you won't be able to inform them of the things that actually matter.

That's all I've got for now, I think. I might add that if you make your En Prayer Knowledge Drop negative (read: gossipy) people aren't going to appreciate it. That's not how anyone wants to find out the the Scott's down the street are getting a divorce because Mrs. Scott cheated on her husband with the pool boy while he was away at a work retreat, which was really a getaway with his blonde secretary. That's just not classy.

(This post is dedicated to my mom, Betty, by the way. She doesn't do this that I know of, this is just a good day to dedicate a post to a mom, and I picked mine.)