Contrary to what you may be thinking, the life of a product like sunglasses or a wind-up car doesn't begin when it's imagined. It doesn't begin when it's manufactured. It doesn't begin when it's packaged. No, the birthday of a general merchandise item is actually the day that it leaves the delivery truck and enters the store.
Some of you may disagree with me and think that the day a product enters manufacturing should be it's birthday. Allow me to point out that this would be the same as you celebrating the day you were conceived. Anyone who knowingly celebrates those actions by their parents shouldn't even have the right (let alone the know-how) to argue with me in the first place.
All of that to point out that today I have discovered something terrible. Something awful. Something more painful than another verse of Every Move I Make. I found the ultimate way to cause low self-esteem in any item:
The clearance bin at Dollar General. I'll say that again, with a bit more emphasis. The clearance bin at Dollar General. Is that not tragic?
If ever there were ever a cause for self-esteem related disorders in merchandise, this bin would be it. With the imminent threat of this, it's really no wonder we have products like "Thin Mints" and "Cutting Boards."
No comments:
Post a Comment