I don't get it. I'm not a stupid person. I can generally grasp concepts without too much effort. Generally, the only time I struggle with learning something is when I make a conscious decision to not apply myself. But I will never understand how we've all missed something so obvious.
We've been missing a scoring system for love. We're always trying to appear appealing to others, but have had no set number of love points that we get from each action. It's with this in mind that I present The Helpful Handbook for Infatuated Individuals (A Method of Scoring for when You're Amoring):
1. Call her just to say hello: 1 point
2. Call her daily just to say hello: 1 point each day until day 4 when you start losing 3 points each day
3. Call her just to say hello after getting her number from anyone other than her: -10 points
4. Send her a cute letter: 6 points
5. Send her a cute email: 2 points
6. Send her a cute instant message: 1/2 point (or no points if sent with any emoticon)
7. Send her a cute message with letters cut out of magazines: -42 points
8. Know her favorite color: 1 point
9. Know her favorite independent movie: 3 points
10. Know her birthday: 7 points
11. Know her social security number: -19 points
12. Memorize her class schedule: 1 point
13. Meet her outside of one of her classes now and then: 3 points
14. Meet her outside of every class, every day: -1 point after your fifth straight appearance, -2 points at the sixth, etc. continued indefinitely
15. Listen to her opinions: 4 points
16. Agree with her opinions: 11 points for the first, 5 points for the second, 1 point for the third, then the negative numbers start...
17. Know her opinions before she even tells them to you because of facebook, myspace, or a mutual friend: -7 points
18. Flirt with her: 1 point
19. Flirt with her in front of their friends: 4 points
20. Flirt with her friend because you got them confused: -19 points
Well, that's it for now. I figured I'd put up the abridged version. If I get a good response, I'll add some more. You can even leave your own thoughts and I can add them to the list.
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well if that is the scoring table... well my friend... you're not doing so hot... :) just kidding.
ReplyDeleteI miss you my conjoined twin!
wow that made me laugh...
ReplyDelete+20 for getting rid of another flirty guy
ReplyDelete+3 for opening car doors
-7 for every time called "woman"
See how hard we have to work to get points ladies???
ReplyDeleteFor females to get points, they just have to acknowledge us!
don't you love it when you randomly stumble to a blog and find that it's such a good read? love the way your mind thinks!
ReplyDelete- a random stumbler.
and -50 points for reading through her blog and commenting on every single post (which i had done to me. 'tis massively creepy)
"A Method of Scoring for when You're Amoring" ...I think that was my favorite line, I'm still cracking up.
ReplyDeleteFor real Michael, why are you still single?
as for what memphis said, I'm going to be honest, I don't see most of those as very hard at all...
To answer your question left on my blog, yes I would have seen your comment, I occasionally stop by as you can tell.
ReplyDeleteMattie, you are right, none of those things are that hard to do, but as the OP pointed out, it is diffucult to get noticed for doing them.